Weekly bouts of birthday cake sessions in the office.
There is a constant stream of birthdays in our office as you would expect in a large company. But a large number of birthdays inevitably leads to a large number of birthday cakes being purchased and enticingly displayed in the office kitchen. Unfortunately said kitchen is only about ten foot from my desk.
If I ate a cake every time one was offered, I would resemble a small landfill site by now, both in size and contents: junk. Thankfully I am not. Instead I have developed a fantastic ability to resist the cakes, which I am pretending is a superhuman sense of willpower. In actual fact it is a three-step plan to apply to just such occasions.
1) Immediately delete the email informing you of the aforementioned cakes.
2) Keep your head at a constant 45-degree angle away from the kitchen so you cannot see the aforementioned cakes.
3) Bribe your team members into making tea so you have no reason to venture into the kitchen.
‘I will not indulge, I will not indulge.’ I say my mantra proudly.