There are far more zany things I could do with old socks if I did start a new pair everyday. But surely the real question is why do socks deteriorate so quickly? It’s not like I walk fifteen miles along cobblestones each day wearing no shoes. I don’t spill anything on my socks and the rest of my clothes don’t go all misshapen and weirdly crunchy after a few wears. Why do socks go off?
Perhaps in fact I should have entitled this blog ‘an ode to new socks’ and written a sonnet about how I mourn socks when they no longer flex and caress my feet. ‘Oh new socks’, I would begin, ‘thy loving elastane and soft weaved body are irresistible. How can I live without your mysterious texture? Why are your promises so short-lived?’
I’m off to the sock shop now. The enticement of sock puppets performing Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus has become too tempting.
Next time you’re bored why don’t you see what uses you can come up with for old socks. Believe me it will be much more enjoyable than the feel of old socks against your skin.