Friday 21 October 2011

How to survive…

Office cooing sessions. I’m sure at some point we’ve all experienced an awkward ‘cooing’ moment. By cooing moment I mean those social occasions during which one is obliged to express interest/pleasure/admiration or other about someone else’s excitements. A new baby, their holiday photos, or the autograph they got when they met a celebrity you have either never heard of or have no interest in yourself.

I had one today in fact when a colleague brought their baby into the office for the obligatory ‘show off the baby’ session. I am not overly child-friendly myself – children make me very nervous. To me the harmless, adorable baby signifies a loss of independence. Couple that with the possibility of sticky fingers, shrill sounds and poor dining etiquette and it becomes evident that I’m not exactly prime ‘cooing over the baby’ material.

I do understand that everyone has their own opinions and that the majority of people love babies. But to me I see life being drained away by the stresses and exertions of parenting.

I try to make the right nods of my head and the right sounds of admiration. But I do this from a safe distance and no matter how hard I try, I can’t help a little fear manifesting itself in a half grimace that pulls one corner of my mouth just a little higher than the other. I am exercising my right to be afraid of children and I’m not afraid to admit it. Where are Punch and Judy when you need them?

Elloise Hopkins.

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