My blog has not disguised how difficult a year 2014 has been, for me and, it seems, for everyone around me. It felt very much like a jigsaw puzzle, in which none of the pieces fit together and the end product made no sense.
I ended the year pretty much as I began it, and in the manner I feel I spent the majority of it – tucked up inside my apartment with a sore throat and a lingering cough/cold, watching the world go by from my room with a view and thinking of all the things I aimed to do in 2014 that haven’t happened and reminding myself that there is another year in which to try again.
I don’t want to dwell on things not done and conversations not had; hurts suffered and disappointments deeply felt. My year can be summed up in few words: procrastination, highs, illnesses, change, determination, perseverance, rejection, rest, seas and lows. The lows won out, in the end… but it wasn’t all bad.
I met some of the people I admire most in the world.
I put my book out there and got some tremendous feedback, and also some tremendous advice: don’t give up.
I spent a week holidaying in the sun thanks to a dear friend, reminding me that a little snatch of sun and a short time out from life can work wonders on the soul.
I finished the first draft of my second novel.
I read of new worlds, and old ones too, and lived and loved within their pages.
I managed 100 happy days and 50,000 words.
I met new people and experienced new things.
I walked beaches and mountains, swam seas and flew clouds.
On December 31st 2014, I stood in the dark and watched the south of my city light up with fireworks, the skyline patterned as far as I could see. Such an array of shapes and colours as I could imagine appeared before me, just as I had hoped, twinkling out through the clear sky, reflecting in the rain-covered rooftops below and giving me the ending and beginning that I needed.
I watched those fireworks explode in unison, a beat after the clock struck midnight, and I wished that 2015 would bring a happier and healthier year for me, and for those around me.
For it is wishing and hoping that keeps us going, and it is wishing and hoping that saves us.
In 2014 we loved and lost. We tried, and sometimes succeeded. We laughed until our tears ran with joy, and we cried until our lungs hurt. But above all else we kept going when the temptation to walk away from everything was dangerously appealing, and chose once again to follow the hard path that is life.
Live, breathe and find joy, my friends, for another year is upon us. May it be all you wish it to be, and bring all that you hope for.