We are continually told in life that bottling things up and keeping our feelings inside is not emotionally healthy. But one of the greatest challenges in life is to take advice and on this score I just can’t.
I’ve never been one to broadcast my innermost feelings to the world (the occasional blogs, tweets and rants aside) and I’m not sure that will ever change. When I feel sad or miserable or depressed the last thing I want to do is inflict that on someone else and make them feel sad or miserable or depressed too.
Misery loves company? Well, not me. I like to be left alone with my misery until I’m ready to emerge from the other side of it. The thought of entering into discussions with other people about why I feel that way is not something that occurs to me, and honestly the idea of it feels pointless. They can’t change the way I feel inside, so how can it possibly help?
To some people that will sound totally logical. To others it will sound stupid and ridiculous. But I like to imagine negative feelings as messages in a bottle. I can write them, then bottle them up and send them off elsewhere. After all, I don’t need them.
So when I am quiet and reflective, when you can tell that I’m isolated inside myself, it is because I am writing out those messages, processing them, reflecting upon them, and then rolling them up and letting them go. Because what possible use can it be to dwell on bad things forever and anon? Leave me to my misery. I always emerge soon enough.