My current Crayola Colour Mood is Electric Lime! Which totally equates to the fact that I am freaking out, meaning I am in the middle of a freaking pre-mid-life crisis.
Why? You may well ask. Well I still haven’t got the results of my MA, which zapped years of my life not to mention the money and sweat, and quite frankly the wait is turning me into a total basket case. Much as I love Green Day, feeling like a basket case is not much fun.
I’m all edgy and strange. I wake up daily from bizarro dreams. I have a constant nagging craving to do something reckless. I want to change every aspect in my life. Nothing seems good enough. Nothing seems to be sitting right and indeed if I manage to sit still for more than five minutes it is a complete miracle. I’m hyper active yet getting nothing done and it feels like I am totally out of control. In fact writing this wacky blog is the most productive thing I’ve managed in over a week.
Hence the freaking out Electric Lime sensation crawling its way through my veins. If this was a drug maybe I could find out how to kick it, but this unsettled consciousness, this knowing that whatever is causing this odd behaviour is out of my control, is utterly doing my head in.
But hey, Electric Lime is pretty cool in a way. Perhaps I should see this transitional phase as a good thing. Perhaps answers will come out of the vivid wilderness. Here’s hoping.