Tuesday 31 March 2015

Crayola Colour Mood…

And the mood is… Silver. A simple word for a feeling that is far from simple. It is fluid… transitional. It is hopeful clouds and movement into a new phase of life. It shimmers, and it also hides layer behind layer. It is silence. It is a symphony. It is leaves blowing in a warm breeze at night. It is the sun splintering against a cobweb over glass. It is my Crayola Colour Mood of today.

It has been a time of change again, so I hope you will forgive my lack of contact. Life has presented me with another challenge, another change. One that I knew was coming. One that was inevitable, and sensible. But that did not make it any easier to endure.

Through the worst, now, I find myself with time to actually sit at a computer, and think, and type, and remember that the world is still out there, waiting for me to return to it. Through the worst, now, I am almost ready to face it all again.

I just moved house, leaving behind an apartment I have loved dearly for the last half a decade. I knew at some point I would have to leave; it was far from perfect and over time has become less and less the peaceful haven it began (being on the edge of a building site did not help) as it underwent the unfortunate transformation – in all but name – into a building mostly populated by young, wealthy, noisy, students, who exhibit no social skills, observe no social niceties, and evidently have no idea how to use a bin chute, or worse, perhaps believe it is beneath them to clear up after themselves.

It was time to move on. Perhaps for the first time I begin to acknowledge my aging, and perhaps even accept it, a little.

I have spent the last few weeks dining out, lunching, drinking and generally over indulging, in between working too hard at the day job and enormous amounts of packing and condensing life at home. It has not been an easy time and I am now taking a holiday, to recover in a place that always brings me peace.

They say moving house is one of the most stressful things in life. I’ve lost 8lbs in two weeks, whilst doing all of that over indulging. I’d say they’re right about the stress thing.

But there is the silver lining and the reason for my Crayola Colour Mood. When life takes a turn and it is not necessarily the one you know you wanted – although it is most likely the best one for you, as you will come to realise in time – it has its bitter elements and its upheaval, but it also has its rewards. Take them where you can get them. Take your time of silence and reflection. Take your time to digest and respond. Then carry on with the new chapter, wrapped in a haze of simple, complex Silver.

Elloise Hopkins.

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